it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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