Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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