I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drunk is a universal language darling
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
