38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
