I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize