Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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