If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
