in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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