beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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