I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize