No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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