Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So squirting runs in the family.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
