so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
