so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
