apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
