I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize