If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
