Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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