Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
