Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i out mim tonsoeep
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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