Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
