I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
