i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
