I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
