Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
