you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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