Where is the hickey?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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