So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
