Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
