your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
