Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
