Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
