so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
