Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
