Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
