dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
