Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
