you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
