she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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