he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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