so explain again why im purple
no
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
