Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
