i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
