1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
