It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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