My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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