I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
