that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
