I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
