i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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