It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize