would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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