Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
