Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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