I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
