Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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