Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
