how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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