Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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