i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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