Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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