You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
