Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
