so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
