My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
