Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize