so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
