I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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