I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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