He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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