is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
