had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
