lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
