So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
