State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
