if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
