I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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