i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
