Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
