what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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