there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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