How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize